I should probably put the pen to paper (or the fingers to keyboard, as it were) to mark tonight as a memorable evening. This is my final evening to spend in the comfort and safety of my townhome, before I begin my personal journey. I don't remember the last point in my life where I felt a rush of so many different emotions; between exhilaration and anticipation to fear and worry and so many others. It is one of the more bittersweet moments of my life.
In a few days, I'll be going on one the most physically stressful journeys I've ever found myself on. I've thought about it and planned it out for a year now, and yet suddenly I feel so unprepared for this milestone. I know that I am, but I don't feel that way at all.
I'm at a bit of a loss for words this evening, so if everything feels a bit forced, that would be why. I just don't know what to say, I am reminded of the Narrator from Fight Club when Tyler Durden has a pistol in his mouth and ask him if he has any last words and the Narrator can't think of anything to say to that. I'm at this moment where I should have so much to say and yet, I don't, and I don't know how I should feel or if I should feel at all about this.
I'm happy about it. I want to do it. I just don't feel anything right now. I'm just going to lay back and absorb this moment, let it not go unnoticed.
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