I figured that while I was sitting in Oklahoma City for a few days, it would be the appropriate time to write an entry that covers more of the emotional side of this lifestyle, especially since as of this Saturday, I have been on the road for one month. While I am not ready to turn around and go back to my former life right now, I am beginning to come to terms with some of the harsher realities of my travels.
The loneliness hit harder while I was here than it has before. I find myself constantly feeling like I am alone even when I am with other people, considering that I am a temporary visitor wherever I go. I'm only getting what I mentioned that I wanted in one of my first entries though, I'm getting single-serving friends. I guess I should've been more careful what I wished for.
The other part of the loneliness is the desire for human contact. Not sexual contact necessarily, but more of having someone hold you and holding them in return. I want to fall asleep in the arms of another again, I never thought I would miss it that much.
I wanted to share that because I know that a lot of tenderfoots are reading this blog to consider taking such a trip for themselves. There is a negative element to living this lifestyle, and I want anybody reading this to know that too. Now, that isn't all there is, but it is something to strongly consider.
I feel like I am on the steps of losing myself to my travels, and this is the point where most would turn around and resume society's ideals of a normal life. It is going to be tough to fight against the urge to go back to it, but I think it will be better for me if I stay along this road and find out where it leads.
This part of the journey is really all about shedding those layers that have developed over the years of your life, the layers that society and the many constructs of it have created to tell you who you are meant to be. It can be a hard process but once you can take off those, you find out who you really are.
By the way, I rolled a die today to determine where I go next, turns out I am headed towards Missouri, my friends and companions. Also, expect a general blog on hitching tips and tricks I've found so far soon.
Regards from the Kodiak.
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Hey man, stick with it. You'll either pull through it or know for sure that you won't regret returning, either way you win. If you want to, check out my blog from when I was in Maryland - Havre de Grace (I think it is called Falling from Grace, but I can't recall). I know I dealt with the loneliness a lot at first too and that blog I know dealt with it, read that, then remember how much better things were for me when we met up. It does pass, or at least becomes intermittent, but there is a lot to yourself that is worth discovering in this process. I salute you Kodiak!
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